Slowing Down Takes Work Too
Being intentional about your joy takes effort
Lately, I’ve been realizing that even slowing down takes work.
Unlearning American hustle culture isn’t a one-time revelation. For me, it’s a daily struggle. It’s a battle between the part of my brain that thinks I’m only valuable when I’m producing, and the part of my brain that knows my worth and value aren’t earned through my labor.
Every morning, I still feel that familiar buzz of “shoulds” overwhelm my thoughts sometimes before my feet even hit the floor. I should work out. I should have a healthy breakfast. But first, I should meditate. But I don’t have enough time. I have to start working now. I should work out before I start working. But I don’t have enough time. I should read, write, post on my social media, film more content, reply to those emails, call my family, I should check my dating apps, I should, I should, I should.
The list of shoulds is paralyzing some days. Oh, I forgot to drink water today. I should probably do that otherwise I’ll be dehydrated. Maybe if I get a new fancy water bottle it will help me remember to drink more water, even though that didn’t work all of the times I did it before.
It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted from all of the things I should do at the expense of actually living my life.